I’m glad Chuck Norris doesn’t have a self-help blog. He’d probably mock the rest of us for trying to write encouraging, practical posts for everyday people.
If Chuck Norris started blogging, here is what his first 10 lessons would be:
1. Chruck Norris can eat just one Lay’s potato chip. You need more willpower!
2. Churck Norris can sneeze with his eyes open. You should do more remarkable things!
3. Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice. You should be more persistent!
4. If you have $5, and Chuck Norris has $5, Chuck Norris has more money than you. You’ll never catch up!
5. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants. You could learn and do more if you weren’t so lazy!
6. Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Help only yourself!
7. Chuck Norris never retreats, he just attacks in the opposite direction. You are never wrong!
8. Chuck Norris plays Russian roulette with a fully loded revolver… and wins. Take more un-calculated risks with your life!
9. Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost. Don’t listen to your heart, it’s not important!
10. Chuck Norris grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage. Anger will get you anywhere!
It’s almost the weekend…what would you do if you were Chuck Norris?